I'm sort of proud of the fact that various of my photos have gone viral. Granted, that might be more of a credit to photographer John Gibson, who took most of the good shots, but nevertheless, I'm proud to be one of the first pictures that comes up in a worldwide Google search for "snooty images," "goofy scientist images," "goofy doctor images," and "serious scientist images." [That might not be anything anybody should be proud of, but I'm sort of proud of it nonetheless.] A lot of people over in the UK seem to have taken to the "snooty" shot--and they should know snooty when they see it! :) I even showed up on a website about US Army nurses, based on an amusing shot from a stage musical (see below). I haven't been discovered for "serious doctor images" yet, and that's probably just as well, because people probably need pictures of actual serious doctors, not some goofy actor--though most of the people in the other photos are probably all actors, not real doctors, anyway. I'm a little crestfallen that my "smarmy" picture below hasn't yet been discovered for "smarmy images" or "smarmy pictures" or "smarmy photos" or anything, since it's probably my favorite of all--but I'll keep hoping. I haven't even checked whether I've made it into anything like "midwestern dad images" or "middle American dad images," and it would be ironic if I did, because I'm not a dad and I grew up out in Southern California--but actually, my mom is an old-school German-American from Milwaukee, so for me and my sisters, growing up with her was pretty much like growing up in Wisconsin. We really weren't allowed to be normal Southern California kids, which was probably a good thing.
My main headshot, which gets me all my roles as a midwestern dad
Another good middle-American headshot, in the sweater that everybody covets
Detective? District Attorney? Deadbeat Office Worker?
[Or just some goof whose acting teacher told him to get the obligatory guy photo with his collar and tie open like a slob?]
Smarmy . . .
[see Google, "smarmy images"]
Snooty . . .
[see Google, "snooty images"]
[Recently selected as one of the top "snooty" images on the Google search engine--yes, people, I'm right up there next to the iconic image from the New Yorker magazine! And that's about as snooty as you can get!]
[I am in competition with (and at a disadvantage to) the delightful Snooty the Manatee, who was born in captivity in Florida many years ago and is helping scientists to learn just how long manatees can live. At any rate, I take my hat off to Snooty the Manatee, happily defer to him and wish him many more years.]
Yes, I'm a rock star--moody shot
Good times at "The Iron Hog"--happy shot
[The bassist photos are from back in the days of the late, great LA blues band, Indian Nickel]
Serious scientist . . . [Ve vill now demonstrrrate ze new device . . .]
Goofy scientist . . . [Ze modulator is not vorking as ve expected! . . .]
Somebody at some other website found the "Serious Scientist" photo and turned it into a motivational poster! [Actually, a de-motivational poster.] I am honored. Because that website recently converted to members only, requiring a password, I will post "Serious Scientist Is Serious" here:
Prepared these photos with text inserts years ago, now, but I never got them put up online at this website that I've neglected for far too long. But anyway: here's a more polite, less vulgar version, and for those of you who are more daring, a less polite, more vulgar version of the same concept: "There goes my grant!" People who aren't scientists or academicians may not understand, but scientists and academicians definitely will. [And I probably don't need to worry about politeness or vulgarity; I spend much of my life at an elite university where the undergraduates intersperse the "F" word about every other or every third word when they're talking, whatever they're talking about, and whatever mood they're in. Sort of sad to see words that once had some special power of emphasis become about as commonplace as "the." Oh well; there goes the Western World, too.]
"Oh No! There Goes My Grant!"
That was the clean one.
And now, for the vulgar among you . . . .
[If I can figure out how the new and supposedly improved website editor works]
[I can't figure out how it works, or why it won't work the way it's supposed to or used to, and I frankly wish people wouldn't go changing technology on me without my informed consent; but maybe I'll put the other version at the very end of this Photographs section, if I'm able to . . . . ]
Remembering the good old days of the Warsaw Pact (for those of you who are confused, that's an East German military police uniform, not a Nazi uniform)
Undercover agent cleverly disguised as a female nurse--live shot from the comic musical "Care or $ell"
The nefarious Professor Grimm--from the comic musical "No Diploma!"
Professor Grimm, again
CIA agent explaining how it all really works--from "Care or $ell"
CIA agent makes fun of the U.S. Supreme Court and the rest of American government, law, and order (song: "The Highest Court of All")--from "Care or $ell"
Cherdyakov, the Sneezer--from "The Good Doctor"
Rehearsal, after getting chewed out yet again by the director--"The Good Doctor"
From EVACUA, a fun science-fiction thriller by CSUN student director Drew M. Davis
Another from EVACUA--a hardened, jaded, Bogartesque gumshoe
Ever had an ultra-high-stakes presentation that went totally, totally wrong? :-)
"Oh, Shit! There Goes My Grant!"
And now, for something completely different . . . .
Some more riffs on the now world-famous "Serious Scientist" shot:
"We Have Ways of Making You Talk," AND
"We Have Ways of Making You Give Us More Grant Funding."
Since I'm half-German, I feel no compunction about making fun of Germans. And it might not even be politically incorrect to make fun of Germans, since they're basically all white people. [And white people are, of course, fair game when it comes to political correctness, unless they're gay or lesbian or "differently abled"--right? :-) ]
Thanks for stopping by!
For whatever reason, this website does not work the way it used to; perhaps the website builder software to which I was accustomed has been supplanted by something I'm not familiar with and doesn't work right anymore. That's one reason I haven't updated the website in a long, long time. Since it's sort of pointless anyway, originally designed for a Hollywood career that never happened (like most putative Hollywood careers), maybe I'll just pull the plug on it before too long. [Or maybe not; I guess some people still find one or another of my academic articles here.]
But first, I wanted to make these humorous (or serious) photos available. They are various different takes on the themes of "Trump Happens" or on the famous quotation from Joseph de Maistre, "Every nation gets the government it deserves." [And it looks like we Americans are pretty undeserving these days.]
The system seemingly will not let me insert photos, only download links. And I don't know if those will work or not. And because the system is acting up, I cannot get to all of them right now. Oh well . . . this too shall pass.
And now, in honor of the new President: The Donald Portfolio: